Things I would rather do than watch “When in Rome”

  • Listen to 24 hours of Michael Bolton’s Greatest Hits
  • Clean the bathroom at Bourbon Street bar after Super Bowl
  • Sit next to Elizabeth Hasselbeck on transcontinental flight
  • Visit Detroit
  • Babysit Octomom and Brangelina’s kids
  • Get tattoo of Sandra Bullock on keister
  • Drive Prius and shop organically
  • Tell Juliette Lewis to keep making great music
  • Check out Meryl Streep sex tape
  • Step in MMA octagon against Brock Lesnar
  • Attempt to cross Canadian border during Olympics without passport
  • Watch “Tooth Fairy”
  • Go to Daytona 500 with Obama T-shirt and “Guns are gay” hat
  • Take my chances in Brazilian favela
  • Rent Olson twins riveting feature of the same name

~ by Elliott on January 29, 2010.

2 Responses to “Things I would rather do than watch “When in Rome””

  1. I’m guessing you have to review it? seriously that poster is HEINOUS.
    after such review (if you’re subjected) read up on NPR’s similar sentiments:

    be brave, soldier.

  2. Teehee. They are really hyping the crap out of this movie for some reason, even to the point of ads which explain the (despair-inducing) premise.

    So why, I must ask. Why? More ads reveal in advance just how shitty it’s going to be. I just don’t see the strategy here.

    Also, I understand exaggeration for comic effect, but with regards to No. 2 above, c’mon. Seriously, dude. The movie’s going to be bad, but that’s a task not even Mike Rowe would stick his snout into.

    And: “Guns are gay” Well, it’s hard (heh) to deny the inherent homoerotic attraction to long, smooth, glinting fresh-blued barrel issuing its steaming payload. Pry yer cold, dead hands offa what now?

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